Resolve it without the fallout
Use simple steps to lower heat and reach agreement faster.
Check your conflict EQWhy this works
Feeling understood reduces threat. With lower heat, trade‑offs and timelines are easier to agree on.
Try these drills
Summarize before you argue
1 minute- State the other view in one clear line.
- Ask: 'Did I get that right?'
- Share your view and suggest the next step.
Outcome: Lowers heat and builds shared understanding.
Mechanism: When people feel understood, defensiveness drops. Then logic lands and you can reach agreement faster.
Relaxation exhale
20 seconds- Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 6 to 8 seconds with soft lips.
- Repeat three times.
Outcome: Quickly calms your body.
Mechanism: A longer exhale turns on your body's brake pedal (parasympathetic system), which slows heart rate and eases tension.
Scripts
Scope or deadline reset
- you: With the new scope, we can hit Friday if we drop X and Y. If we keep scope, next Wednesday is realistic. Which do you prefer?
Why this works: Naming trade‑offs makes the cost visible and invites a choice, so deadlines match reality without drama.
What to measure
- fewer escalations
- time to agreement
- post meeting sentiment
FAQ
Is this therapy?▼
No. This is work skill training, not medical advice.
How fast will I see change?▼
Many people notice a change within a week if they do one drill daily.
Do I need my manager's approval?▼
No. Start with your own skills. Teams can add it later.