Conflict without fallout
Face hard topics with a short summary and a clear ask.
Test your conflict EQWhy this works
A one‑line summary lowers defensiveness. Then a clear ask moves the work forward without heat.
Try these drills
Summarize before you argue
1 minute- State the other view in one clear line.
- Ask: 'Did I get that right?'
- Share your view and suggest the next step.
Outcome: Lowers heat and builds shared understanding.
Mechanism: When people feel understood, defensiveness drops. Then logic lands and you can reach agreement faster.
Relaxation exhale
20 seconds- Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 6 to 8 seconds with soft lips.
- Repeat three times.
Outcome: Quickly calms your body.
Mechanism: A longer exhale turns on your body's brake pedal (parasympathetic system), which slows heart rate and eases tension.
Scripts
Scope or deadline reset
- you: With the new scope, we can hit Friday if we drop X and Y. If we keep scope, next Wednesday is realistic. Which do you prefer?
Why this works: Naming trade‑offs makes the cost visible and invites a choice, so deadlines match reality without drama.
What to measure
- fewer escalations
- time to agreement
- post meeting sentiment
FAQ
Is this therapy?▼
No. This is work skill training, not medical advice.
How fast will I see change?▼
Many people notice a change within a week if they do one drill daily.
Do I need my manager's approval?▼
No. Start with your own skills. Teams can add it later.