From spiral to solution
Prevent blowups with a summary first and a calm reset.
Test your conflict EQWhy this works
Summarizing resets the room to facts. A calm tone and next step stop the spiral.
Try these drills
Summarize before you argue
1 minute- State the other view in one clear line.
- Ask: 'Did I get that right?'
- Share your view and suggest the next step.
Outcome: Lowers heat and builds shared understanding.
Mechanism: When people feel understood, defensiveness drops. Then logic lands and you can reach agreement faster.
Relaxation exhale
20 seconds- Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 6 to 8 seconds with soft lips.
- Repeat three times.
Outcome: Quickly calms your body.
Mechanism: A longer exhale turns on your body's brake pedal (parasympathetic system), which slows heart rate and eases tension.
Scripts
Clean apology
- you: I missed the expectation and that affected your timeline. I will do X by end of day and add Y check. Anything else you need?
Why this works: Owning impact plus a concrete fix restores trust faster than excuses or vague promises.
What to measure
- fewer escalations
- time to agreement
- post meeting sentiment
FAQ
Is this therapy?▼
No. This is work skill training, not medical advice.
How fast will I see change?▼
Many people notice a change within a week if they do one drill daily.
Do I need my manager's approval?▼
No. Start with your own skills. Teams can add it later.