From spiral to solution

Prevent blowups with a summary first and a calm reset.

Test your conflict EQ

Why this works

Summarizing resets the room to facts. A calm tone and next step stop the spiral.

Try these drills

Summarize before you argue

1 minute
  1. State the other view in one clear line.
  2. Ask: 'Did I get that right?'
  3. Share your view and suggest the next step.

Outcome: Lowers heat and builds shared understanding.

Mechanism: When people feel understood, defensiveness drops. Then logic lands and you can reach agreement faster.

Relaxation exhale

20 seconds
  1. Inhale for 4 seconds.
  2. Exhale for 6 to 8 seconds with soft lips.
  3. Repeat three times.

Outcome: Quickly calms your body.

Mechanism: A longer exhale turns on your body's brake pedal (parasympathetic system), which slows heart rate and eases tension.

Scripts

Clean apology

  • you: I missed the expectation and that affected your timeline. I will do X by end of day and add Y check. Anything else you need?

Why this works: Owning impact plus a concrete fix restores trust faster than excuses or vague promises.

What to measure

  • fewer escalations
  • time to agreement
  • post meeting sentiment

FAQ

Is this therapy?

No. This is work skill training, not medical advice.

How fast will I see change?

Many people notice a change within a week if they do one drill daily.

Do I need my manager's approval?

No. Start with your own skills. Teams can add it later.

Ready to get started?

Test your conflict EQ