How Self-Expression Improves Your Workplace Communication

Remember a time when a brief interaction at work completely reframed how you understand yourself and others? Those moments, often unexpected, can become powerful catalysts for growth.

The Pivotal Interaction

Lena, one of our developers, is sharp and steady. One afternoon, she was knee-deep in solving a bug that had been haunting the sprint. I spotted something in the interface and, without thinking, walked over and said:

Hey, I think this part of the flow is off. You might've missed something.

Lena didn't look up at first. “Thanks, I'm in the middle of something critical right now,” she said quietly.

But I kept talking... hovering, clicking, explaining my idea... trying to be helpful.

She finally turned to me, calm but clear:

Jean, I want to say this with respect; I really value your eye for detail. But when I'm deep in debugging, interruptions derail my thought process. I need space to finish this before we talk through changes.

Her tone was kind but firm. At that moment, I realized Lena was using something I hadn't seen in action like this before: Self-Expression.

I paused.

I'm sorry... I didn't realize I was stepping on your process, I said. It's okay, she smiled. Let's revisit once I've got this stable.

This exchange lingered with me—and not because of the bug. It opened up something deeper.

Breaking Down Self-Expression

That interaction stuck with me. It wasn't just a moment of tension—it was a model for emotionally intelligent communication. Lena didn't just manage the bug in the code—she helped me start debugging my own behavior.

When we examine what made Lena's response so effective, three critical components of self-expression come into focus:

• Emotional Expression: calmly voicing her frustration instead of holding it in
• Assertiveness: setting a boundary clearly, without making it personal
• Independence: choosing to speak up on her own terms, even though it could’ve been uncomfortable

These three elements form the foundation of healthy self-expression in the workplace and beyond.

Lessons Learned

What strikes me most about this exchange is how Lena's boundary-setting actually strengthened our working relationship rather than damaging it. By expressing herself clearly, she taught me something valuable about respecting others’ work processes.

Too often, we mistake constant availability for collaboration. We interrupt focused work with good intentions, not realizing the cognitive cost these interruptions impose.

Research shows it can take up to 23 minutes to fully regain concentration after an interruption.

The bug was eventually fixed, but the more lasting impact was on my understanding of workplace communication.

The Three Pillars of Self-Expression

Looking deeper at the three components Lena demonstrated can help us all improve our own emotional intelligence.

1. Emotional Expression

Involves acknowledging and appropriately communicating feelings in the moment. Rather than letting frustration build until it erupts or suppressing it entirely, healthy emotional expression means finding the words to describe what you're experiencing. Lena didn't hide her feelings, but she also didn't let them control her response.

2. Assertiveness

Often misunderstood as aggression, but they're fundamentally different. Assertiveness means standing your ground and expressing your needs clearly while still respecting others. Lena was direct about needing space to work, but she cushioned this with appreciation for my input, making it about her process rather than rejecting my help entirely.

3. Independence

Means having the confidence to speak up, even when it might create discomfort. It would have been easier for Lena to remain silent and deal with the interruption, but she chose to advocate for her needs.

Time for Self-Reflection

That moment with Lena made me reflect:

• How well do I actually express myself?
• Do I communicate my boundaries clearly?
• Do I speak up when something impacts my work, or do I silently accommodate at my own expense?

Consider your own workplace interactions:

• When was the last time you clearly expressed your needs in a professional setting?
• Do you tend to prioritize politeness over honest communication?
• How might better self-expression improve your working relationships?

These questions aren't always comfortable, but they're essential for growth.

Assessment and Growth

Self-expression is a critical dimension of emotional intelligence, and like any skill, it can be developed with practice and awareness. The first step is understanding where you currently stand.

Many of us learned workplace communication habits that prioritize harmony over honesty; or alternatively, results over relationships.

Finding the balance: expressing yourself authentically while maintaining professional relationships, is the true goal.

Want to know where you stand?

Assess Your Emotional Intelligence